Cunnaicomwitcha?
by Mahalia Gaunt
Summary: Sirius would never admit to anyone that he was adorably ruffled and inarticulate after any period of sleep, whether a full night’s rest or just a few minute’s nap. Mindless puppy fluff. Rated T for distraught puppy cussing. RemusSirus


"Padfoot, I was reading that."

"Please give me back my book."

"Please?"

"Give me the book, Sirius."

"Give it."

"Gimmedabook!"

The black haired boy fell to the ground with a great "OOF!" as the well-thumbed Astronomy book was successfully ripped from his hands. The smaller tawny-haired boy stood above him with said book in hand, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I thought you had learned, Padfoot," James called from the armchair across from them, arm dangling lazily as he reclined, legs over one arm and eyes closed behind round glasses. "You know how possessive he gets over his books."

Sirius grinned from the floor. "But you do know how I enjoy the challenge, Prongs. Someday I will get a book away from you, Moony, and I'll keep it away."

The brown-eyed boy gave an uncharacteristic snort. "Yeah, right. The same day Peter isn't caught nipping pastries from the table for snacks."

"Hey! I don't do that every day!"

This earned a great guffaw from the other three youths. "Wormtail, a day has not gone by when I don't hear you chewing at something after lights out," said the lanky boy still splayed across the floor. "But you're wrong, Moony. Someday it will happen. Someday."

"Well, not today. I have a test next week, and I need to study." Remus crossed his arms in disapproval as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yes, because you can't study for next week's test _next week._ At least help me up, will you?"

Remus grudgingly offered his arm. Sirius took it, and promptly pulled the skinny boy on top of him.

"How did I not expect that?" Remus said, forehead resting on the carpet next to Sirius' ear. "How do I not learn?"

Sirius twisted his head, looking Remus in the eye. He pouted. "Are you saying I'm predictable? Because I'm not. I'm the most unpredictable person in the world."

Remus smiled. "Of course you are."

Both James and Peter mouthed along as Sirius triumphantly exclaimed, "Damn right I am!"

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"Whuryagoin, Moons?"

Remus looked back over his shoulder at Sirius' four-poster. The only light in the dorm came from the bright half moon. All Remus could see of the other boy was a pair of bright eyes and a mop of thick black hair, poking out from around the curtain. It was past midnight; everyone was in bed, but Remus couldn't sleep. "Astronomy tower."

"Cunnaicomwitcha?"

Remus smiled. Sirius would never admit to anyone that he was adorably ruffled and inarticulate after any period of sleep, whether a full night's rest or just a few minute's nap. He wanted the world to think he was always composed and witty. Remus knew his secrets, though; knew the little things that made him human. And if anything, they made the grey eyed boy more flawlessly unreal.

"Sure, if you want."

Sirius rolled out from under the curtain, landing quietly on his feet.

Wearing nothing but red briefs. Of course.

"Gah, Padfoot, couldn't you wear clothes sometime?"

Sirius pouted as he pulled on a pair of jeans Remus knew hadn't been washed in at least two weeks. "Oh, c'mon, Moony, yunno I ge' hot. I'm a _veritable_ heater."

"Do you even know what veritable means? And keep your voice down."

Sirius pulled on a jumper, narrowing his eyes as it popped over his head. "No, I dunno what it means. Youse it a lot like that, dough."

Remus chuckled as they walked quietly through the common room. Getting up to the Astronomy tower was easy- Remus had nipped the Map from James' trunk. They climbed quickly to the top. Opening the door to the balcony, the boys were greeted by a bitter wind. It was the end of March, and the weather had yet to grow warm in the slightest.

"Moony, 'scold."

Remus sat gracefully and folded his legs beneath him. "Sit up next to me then."

Sirius flopped down onto the ground, his elbow digging painfully into Remus' side. He said nothing, though- he didn't want to risk Sirius moving away.

"Moony, can I ask you something?" Sirius snuggled down onto Remus' shoulder.

"Sure."

"Well, I have this friend-"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Can we not have a rhetorical theory? Just say it's you."

Sirius glared up at him with one eye. "I _am _part of the story. I just come in later, dolt."

"Oh. Sorry, proceed."

Sirius snuggled in closer, his breath hot on Remus' neck. The werewolf dared not move for the risk of losing that warmth.

"You know I like boys too, right?"

Remus chuckled. "I sort of guessed when I caught you snogging Jake Hallowell in the Prefect's bathroom."

Sirius giggled. "That was you, wasn't it? Anyway, well, I have this friend, and he's a boy, and I like him a whole lot. Like, I love him. He's perfect, unimaginably great. I couldn't think of one way to make him better. He's kind, and thoughtful, and funny, and charming, and everything, Moons, he's everything! And single, too. But the thing is, I think he's straight. Actually, I think he's the straightest being on the planet. Like, not even curious. As in, never even thought of another bloke that way. I mean-"

"I get it."

"Oh. Well, I don't what to do. What should I do?"

Remus pondered for a moment. "I would tell him."

"But-"

He pulled on the darker boy's ear. "Listen. If this boy is as great as you say he is, then even if he is straight, he'll understand. And you need to know. So tell him, and maybe you'll find he's been hiding too."

"But I'm nervous."

Remus sighed. "You don't have to tell him right this instant, Padfoot. Just do it when the moment seems right."

Sirius pulled away. Remus had to resist the urge to reach out for the other boy.

"Maybe tomorrow, then. But right now I'm sleepy, Moony. Let's go back to bed."

Remus stood and helped Sirius to his feet. "Alright."

They headed down the tower steps. "And Moony?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

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Remus glanced about the Great Hall the next morning, his eyes resting on every suitable boy for Sirius.

He would have to be handsome, of course, and certainly not a Slytherin. Not a Hufflepuff, either, not for Sirius. That left Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. He looked closely at every male, checking each off a mental list when they didn't fit the criteria.

_No, he has a rotten sense of humor. No, he's definitely curious in the other direction. Jerk. Bigger jerk. Dating Melanie Gray. Positively uncharming. Gay. Really gay._

He scrutinized everyone, including James and Peter (James had experimented in fourth year and Peter was…well, Peter.) but no one seemed to be the guy Sirius was in love with. There wasn't anyone…_worthy _enough.

Remus sighed. Of course there wasn't anyone worthy enough; no one was good enough for Sirius, not really. _Not even me…_

"Merlin's tush, Padfoot, could you take any longer in the mornings? Everything's about gone cold." Sirius grumbled in James' direction as he threw himself onto the table next to Remus.

Remus looked askance at his best friend. "Sleep late again, Pads?" Sirius muttered an unhappy yes before resting his head on the werewolf's shoulder. He snored softly as Remus piled his plate high with all the things he knew the grey eyed boy would want on this particular morning. "Eat." Sirius' eyes cracked open at word, and his eyes fell upon his plate. He immediately fell to, forgetting his fatigue for hunger.

James laughed. "Jeez, Rem, I don't know how you can always tell who wants what. You're like our mum times ten thousand."

"Twenty thousand," Sirius growled around a mouthful of eggs. "Maybe like a million. Better looking, too."

Remus blushed. "_Eat,_ Sirius. We'll be late for Charms."

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"Moons?"

Remus was sitting curled up in one of the chairs closest to the fire in the common room, reading languidly. He has been stuck on the same sentence for the past half hour, but he wasn't tired either.

"What is it, Sirius?"

The other boy slowly descended the stairs leading from the boy's dormitories, rubbing his eyes. "Dontcha ever sleep, Moons?"

Remus laughed quietly. "You know I'm nocturnal."

"Mmrh." Sirius squeezed himself into the armchair next to Remus, snuggling up against his side. "Can we talk?"

Remus set down his book, making sure that he didn't bend any pages. "Of course. What's up?"

Sirius pressed his face against the side of Remus' neck. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I had all sorts of opportunities, but I couldn't. He's gonna hate me, Moony. I don't know what to do."

Remus sat thinking for a moment. "Well, maybe I could tell him for you. I mean, I'll find out who it is anyway if you start going out. I don't have to, you know, straight out say it, but I could drop a hint or something. What do you think? Padfoot?"

Sirius was asleep, his perfect eyelashes half moons against his tan skin. Remus softly brushed a stray hair off of his forehead, smoothing it into the rest of the thick black mass. He ended up stroking Sirius' head, just like he did with Padfoot. It was so much easier when they were animals; so much they didn't have to say, didn't have to think about. He only wished being human were that simple.

_Tell me who it is, Padfoot. Tell me so I know who to hate. _

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"Remus, what's wrong with Sirius?"

Remus jumped at James' voice, looking guiltily at the hazel eyed boy. "What do you mean?"

James crossed his arms, frustrated. "He's been moping around for almost a week. Did you hurt his feelings or something?"

Remus thought quickly about what to say, tapping nervously at the arm of his favorite chair. He wasn't sure if James knew…

"I mean, ever since he told you he loves you you've been sleeping together, but during the day he acts like you broke his heart. What the hell's up?"

The world stopped.

Thought ceased.

It was impossible.

Remus could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "Wha…Sirius…he?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

All Remus saw was a blur of grey and maroon as it hit James with hurricane force, throwing him onto the ground. Sirius landed with both hands on the other boy's mouth. "He doesn't know!" He hissed distraughtly. James' eyes widened to the size of saucers behind his spectacles.

"He…he told me, Sirius," Remus whispered, unbelieving.

"Shit." The boy rolled off of James and fell to the floor with a light _thump_, covering his eyes with one arm "Fuck. Dammit. Bollocks. Shit. Bags. Hell."

James fumbled to his feet, looking guiltily at his fallen comrade. "Sorry mate, I…I thought he knew." He glanced at Remus, and then quickly trotted off.

Remus lowered himself to kneel next to Sirius. "Padfoot?"

"Fuck shit bitch hell damn bugger."

Remus frowned. "Watch your language, Sirius."

The tall boy moved his arm enough to allow one eye to peek out, looking incredulously up at Remus. "Why aren't you running off into the distance screaming bloody murder?"

Remus pursed his lips and settled down a little closer next to the other boy. "Because I still haven't beaten you for telling me how amazing and wonderful I am and making me jealous of myself."

Sirius moved his arm down to his side, his face pink with embarrassment and fear. "Wha?"

Remus rolled his eyes and gently took Sirius' hand into his. "Padfoot…I…Well…You should have freaking told me, dolt, I love you too."

"Oh."

And Sirius leaned up and gently touched his mouth to Remus'.

And it didn't matter that everyone was watching or that the carpet was rough underneath his hands or that Sirius tasted a little bit like the bacon he had eaten that morning.

The world was perfect.

Remus smiled against Sirius' mouth, and then pulled away. "I," he pronounced grandly, "am going upstairs."

Sirius looked up at him, hair a mess and eyes glazed. "Cunnaicomwitcha?"


End file.
